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ALAN C ROBLES

It could be an alcoholic drink ... or a ghost

MANILA

Some years back, we had a housekeeper who said
she was unable to sleep well in our house. The
reason, she claimed, was there was a White Lady.

Now, in other countries, when you say “White Lady”,
people will probably think you’re ordering an alcoholic
concoction (“hey bartender, how about a couple of
White Ladies for my friends here, huh?”) But in the
Philippines, those English words can only mean one
thing: a ghost.

You don’t need to say anything more than may white
lady diyan – “there’s a white lady there” – and
everybody instantly knows the place is supposed to be
haunted. Recently a horror movie was released with
just those two words as a title.

Anybody who stays in this country even for a short time
soon notices we Filipinos love the supernatural.
They’ll also notice that just about every hair-raising
horror tale has someone going into a dark, spooky
room or chamber... and what do you think they’ll find?

Not Elvis. Not the Cat in the Hat. That’s right, the ever-
popular White Lady. It’s almost as if all our haunted
houses have strict boarding requirements – they only
accept SWF (spirit-type white females).

Don’t ask me how this got started. Perhaps it’s
colonial mentality: Ruled first by the Spanish and then
the Americans, Filipinos came to believe everything
Caucasian is superior. Perhaps a ghost simply isn’t
credible unless it’s white.

As for why it has to be a woman, I have no answer to
that. Maybe it can be linked to many Filipinas’
obsession with acquiring white skin. Skin whiteners
are a big industry here and I’m surprised the White
Lady hasn’t been roped into doing product
endorsements.

Think of the possible slogans: “Drop Dead, Turn
White”, or “Use our cleanser, be hauntingly white.”
All the same, it makes me wonder if there’s some sort
of color discrimination at work here. I have yet to hear
horror tales featuring purple women, chartreuse
teenagers or pink gentlemen. It also worries me: will I,
a brown man, end up a white lady?

I have to say that despite our housekeeper’s
assertion, I haven’t met any white ladies at home. I can
only conclude they’re shy. Or maybe there’s just one of
them in the entire country and she has a busy social
schedule visiting all her haunts (so to speak).

Perhaps meeting her is by appointment only.
At any rate, White Ladies have become so popular, I
feel pretty sure the time will come when they’ll have
their own constituency. I can see how they could run to
be sectoral representatives in Congress.

Their platform would be to look after the interests of
ghost projects, ghost employees, ghost payrolls and
ghost voters. We certainly have a lot of those.

Don’t ask me
how this got
started.
Perhaps it’s
colonial
mentality:
Ruled first by
the Spanish
and then the
Americans,
Filipinos
came to
believe
everything
Caucasian is
superior